Introduction [excerpt] When I was nineteen, I told my then-boyfriend a bold-faced lie: I can ski.... Somewhere along the line, I'd adopted the idea that it is easier to mold yourself to fit the expectation of others than it is to fall short. This inclination found its way into friendships, relationships, conversations at the bar, conversations in the classroom. It took up residence in a far corner of my brain, in the form of one of those old-school catalogs, where...